Many, many moons ago with the rise and fall of the tides, a young woman began the journey of exploring and expressing a truer nature of self. So much of the self was unknown at the time but self reflection reactivates the threads between the here and now and the then and there, and thus we begin our journey on the shoreline of Australia where the scent of the ocean is enticingly strong and the water is glistening with sparkles in the light of sun.
This new world upon which she sat, quietly and joyfully playing with a mix of sand, rocks and seashells, was the place that invited her into the peace and pleasure of meaning within nature, meaning within silence, meaning within the very breath we take even if it were the last.
Unbeknownst, this was the time where the here and now connected with the then and there of days gone by as her past connections to nature and spirit, to witchdom, crystals and intuition began to vibrate with energy and intensity once more. Leaving the beach all those moons ago was like leaving the past behind and walking into the power of possibility, the world suddenly opening like an oyster revealing a plethora of pearls in all shapes and sizes, colours and degrees.
For many years after that day the journey of connection, of learning, of becoming, was exciting and tantalising, profitable even! With every turn of the shell, rise of the moon, tale from the sea and vibration from crystalline forces, the connection to spirit grew and grew. This newfound lease on life, on meaning and purpose, and with nature on her side, energy, witchcraft and the merfolk too, life’s challenges were somewhat more manageable.
As with any awakening, if the true light or knowingness of your being is not embodied, the duality of life will reveal itself and what was once good will sour and hang you out to dry.
Our heroine began the story, the journey of exploration and self-expression all those years ago, with a bag so full, so heavy of evidence that supported a narrative of unworthiness and a mastery of shape shifting. The poor dear forgot for a moment in time, actually never really acknowledge it previously, that she carries with her what we’ve come to call the Chameleon effect, the ability to blend, to adapt, to shift in ways to fit your environment.
The Chameleon effect comes from life experiences where one learns how to keep themself safe. It is thoughts, behaviours, perceptions and mistrust in self all designed to keep one safe in the full scope and meaning of the word. And, the earlier you begin to make these adaptations in life (maladaptions in the long term), adaptations of the self to keep safe in the home, safe at school, safe with friends and friends families, the more likely you will find yourself waking up in a time and space where you never allow your true self to be revealed, where you always shift and change to be safe, where you protect yourself, right or wrong, at all costs, and where you adapt who you are just to be accepted.
As the years of self-transformation go by, our young woman, still blessed and imbued with the connection to oceanic energies, began to sense an unravelling, an unravelling of the trust, the faith, and the loyalty of people around her. People around her began to crack, to show true colours that revealed what was no longer right about relationships; little did she know the revealing was coming from within her own being, but let’s digress. When narcissism revealed it’s ugly head and egocentric behaviours were on displayed, she smiled and swallowed, chewed and stuffed down the intuition that was alerting her to disengage, to walk away, or to let be that in which no longer felt good or free.
In an attempt to remain connected, to continue to be someone or something in the eyes of other, to remain a part of a friendship circle that she so desperately wanted to be a part of, she turned her back on herself, on her inner guidance system, on her knowingness and that of spirit, so that she didn’t feel the sting of rejection, of confrontation, of ridicule, humiliation or ostracisation.
Little did she know though, or perhaps she did and chose to allow the hand of fate to act in the cover of darkness, that in turning away from herself she would create a cesspool of outcomes that ultimately resulted in all that she was attempting to remain safe and protected from. The naivety and desperation tainted and distorted the lines of influence to the point where the untrustworthy were trusted and the trustworthy were mistrusted. Such a shambles was made in true dualistic fashion that self-protection, hiding the self, seemed like the only option. Thus, the turning of backs on things that she loved, on herself, on her connection and on the joy of creating with the spirit of the ocean began the demise of all that was, for all of the wrong reasons.
Decisions made for the wrong reasons can lead you to where you were meant to be, and in this case, to a journey of self discovery and self love, and even to an expanded path of being. Yet, decisions made for the wrong reasons will often generate limitations, and those limitations are often unseen as they reside in the world of energy, frequency, vibration and biochemical makeup. The results will always be present however, as if they (limitations) are working behind the scenes, and will often appear as being stuck, or small, or stagnant, or, simply put, as not being able to get ahead or move too far forward in all dimensions of life in a “one improves but not the others” kind of scenario.
Thus, years in the making, after a complete dissolution of friendships, after journey upon journey of self-discovery and healing, clarity and purpose has peaked through the opening of the clouds as they part to allow the moonlight to shine upon the waters edge once more. Eight, almost nine years in the making, self awareness, exploration, curiosity and ownership reveal the degree upon which external influences have ruled the first fifty years of our heroines life. The flagship of lifespan development has left it’s marked, cleared a path, and created the space and the freedom to leave all that was behind in the past and move forward once more into the space of unlimited potential and possibility.
“It is no longer a wish to have stood in my power and remained true to my joy. I should have had my own back. Periodt! Finally, I can proclaim with genuine authenticity that this is who I am. If you fit, fabulous. If you don’t, bye. Either way I am going to continue to what brings me joy, what excites me, and what feels good to me because I know my heart, I know my integrity, I know my the ethical morality that runs through my veins and if that means that I am the villain in your story, that’s okay because it means I will be the hero in mine”.
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